Lazio - Rioma

By: salvatore | March 18th, 2008

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Gabbo

Well, here we are folks, derby time.

There may be few sporting contests on earth as heated as the Derby della Capitale, but there is a chance that this one might just be a bit more civil than usual (not including the comments section here at the Offside…).

You see this is the first meeting between Lazio and Rioma since the unnecessary death of Biancoceleste fan Gabriele Sandri, and you can bet there will be plenty of pageantry and diplomacy to mark the occasion.

To start, captains Totti and Rocchi will place flowers at the foot of the Curva Nord before kickoff (credit to Totti, even if he probably thinks it’s some sort of Olimpico redecoration project). Gabbo’s father will watch the game from the Curva Sud, with potentially, the son of another Lazio fan killed in the 70’s by his side.

What this proves to me is that when it comes to police brutality, corruption, and untimely death, we’re all human, and we’re all united (sorry for bringing up that word again, you touchy Rioma fans, it was only partially intended).

In any case, let’s hope there is no violence to ruin what is, essentially, a giant middle finger to the crooked authorities that continue to run, and ruin, a country most of us love.

Justice

On the field, things will be slightly less touchy-feely, with both teams desperate, as always, to kill each other.

Rioma Merda have the advantage (considering our train wreck of a season) but there is reason to be confident. For one thing, we have been playing a lot better the last few games, and we now look a little more like the Uefa Cup team we were supposed to be, and less like the bottom feeding piece of shite that lost to Cagliari.

Secondly, and most importantly, the pressure is all on Rioma.

Sure, no Lazio player will ever be happy losing to Merda (that is to say, no Lazio fan would ever allow a player to be happy losing to Merda), but the fact is, as painful as a loss will be, what difference would it really make? We’d go from 11th to 12th place? Wow, how truly devastating. Way to ruin our perfect season there Merda.

Rioma on the other hand, have to keep pace with Inter, so anything other than three points for them is a painful blow, one that can eliminate their already borderline delusional scudetto dreams.

Lol

Put simply, they have everything to lose. We don’t.

The Anti-Merda plan was likely to field the same team that held the Digao inspired B-team of Milan to a draw (sigh), but that’s not going to happen if Radu is really going to miss the game with injury.

The fact that a player (albeit a very promising one) picked up in January has become so indispensable to the team in such a short time, speaks volumes about how badly we’ve been DP’ed with injuries this year. Truth is though, we’re a much, much better team when he’s playing.

Without him, it’ll likely be the same underachieving back four that played most of the first half of this year, and a whole lot of wondering what could have been. Of course as always, there is a chance that Rozehnal will play, but given that he hasn’t had a start yet, I’d be really surprised if he’s in the starting 11. Hell, I’d be less surprised if Joanna Krupa decided to have my babies (and by that I mean there’s no chance in hell that he starts).

Kupra - crazy hot

(Full disclosure: I added that last line just to post a pic of her.)

On a brighter but less sexier note, Massimo Mofo Mutarelli might make his return tomorrow, which should give our mostly apathetic midfield a jolt. The question though is how effective he can be after such a long layoff. Will he start? Or will he just come off the bench? Hard to say for now, but I’ll update the blog when I know.

Up front, we look set to stick with the trident, with Pandev pulling the strings behind BaldBoa and Bianchi. I’m not completely sold on it, but I’ll admit that it’s opened the team up a bit more, increased the flow, and done the seemingly impossible by waking Cristian Ledesma up.

Yep, for a while there, he was actually threatening to become something of a medical marvel, as I’m positive there has never been another person who’s played football while in a coma.

Anyway, what bothers me about the trident, basically, is Rolando Whitey.

Rolando

Sure, he lit it up last year in Calabria, scoring like he was playing against Andrew Raycroft (little hockey related reference for the Canucks here), but I’m not sold on him yet. In fact, I wasn’t even sold on him last year, especially after Man City’s free-spending, law-breaking Thai president overpaid for him.

Now that he’s here, my opinion hasn’t changed all that much. He has the air of panic and danger most great poachers have, but he also seems to make bad decisions, and waste a lot of opportunities. This leads me to believe that he’s either really overrated, or just something of a home-run hitter; a player who hits a long ball, but also strikes out a lot. It doesn’t help that he seems to be struggling to find his role in the Pandev-Rocchi partnership, which is all the more glaring when you consider that Meghni has looked more and more comfortable, and might have solidified his position as the team’s trequartista (because lord knows Mauri isn’t the guy) with more playing time.

In any case, if there’s a way for a player to cement his status as a member of Lazio, and in the hearts of its fans, it’s to score in the derby. Just ask Gazza; if he’s allowed to talk to you, that is.

Gazza

On Rioma’s end, the only player I really fear is Aquilani, who, undoubtedly, will be doing what he can to impress Moratti, you know, to lock down that role as Inter‘s sole Italian next year.

Of course, with De Rossi losing out to Cannavaro for the Gay Icon of the Year award, he’ll probably be looking to impress too, and might end up being, um, a pain in the ass (thank you, I’ll be here all week). But since Rioma fanboys seem to get an erection every time Vucinic touches the ball, De Rossi will have to work extra hard to really stand out.

(Partial) kidding aside, a player I think can really impact the game is Cicinho. He seems to have settled in at Rioma now, and if he plays, it will take a lot to shut him and his speed down, particularly if Mutarelli can’t put in a full 90 minutes.

Non Mollare Mai

No matter what happens though, the derby will, as always, be entertaining (especially if Totti acts like a spoiled child again).

3-0

Probable formations:

Lazio: Nonno Ballota, De Silvestri, Siviglia, Cribari, Radu (if he can, if not Kolarov), Dabo, Ledesma, Mudingayi, Pandev, Rocchi, Bianchi.

Rioma: Doni, Tonetto, Juan, Mexes, Panucci, De Rossi, Aquilani (Corriere dello sport has Pizzarro in), Taddei, Perrotta, Mancini, Totti.

Likelihood that Lazio blows it: 60%
Likelihood that Bianchi scores just to prove me wrong: 33.3%
Likelihood Ledesma actually shows up: 50%
Likelihood that Perrotta misses at least one mind-boggling sitter: 100%
Likelihood that Guido de Angelis or Carlo Zampa (or both) act like lunatics: 100%
Likelihood that the comments section below gets overheated way too quickly: 100%

On an unrelated note, I’d like to profess my undying love for NyQuil. I’ve always been cool with it, you know, since it came with a shot glass and all. But in these last few days I’ve discovered a whole new level of appreciation for it, even if it made me sleep most of the day away, and now has me up at nearly 5 AM.

Enjoy the game folks.

That’s all it is, after all.

And in fact, to help get into the spirit of this “peaceful” derby, here is some trivia for you:

There is only one player in history who has scored in a Rome derby for both teams. Who is he?

Jeopardy